headlights burn like coal.

Headlights literally burn like coal. I don't know if I will look back on all those things that I am convinced I felt after just one moment & throw them to the wayside. If one day I will have some supreme epiphany where I realize that I wasn't feeling any of those thing. Maybe they would've faded out by themselves had we filled the potential I am still convinced we had. Maybe all would've been right in the world. People could pinpoint it as something less than real, but if you were there, you wouldn't question it. I was naive & young. Summer was calling my name, but that will never be an excuse because I still think about it. It doesn't consume my thoughts but after such a long time I do feel like it shouldn't be still lingering, with the ashes of memories surrounding it. I've come to a comfortable conclusion that I got a glimpse of something so insane that it couldn't of been a real possibility. Stars were aligned for a while, but it wouldn't be fair to hold onto that forever I guess. No one is really that lucky. I could only hope that I would've been. I could only learn from it & hold onto it next time I catch a glimpse of that feeling again. I've felt others, I've held onto others but it will always be the truth that I let go of the really magnificent thing. I have yet to see that blind adoration again. To feel butterflies every single time I even thought about it. The color flushes to my cheeks & I stammer out my sentences. I guess the truth is that people change, and the magnificence isn't even there for me to try and hold close again. The magic has escaped, and neither of us would ever be the same anyways. All this thinking really gets me nowhere but I must admit that it still sits in the bottom of my stomach and floats in the clouds of my brain and the endorphins flow when I remember looking up at you. Is this something I hold onto? No, it's a memory that I keep close. I've let go of it. I do love my memories though.